Mardi Gras in New Orleans is a magical time. Something comes over people in this city, and it becomes a lawless land of joy and revelry. I grew up in Mississippi just over an hour from New Orleans, so for me, Mardi Gras always meant family-friendly parades and a week off school. But for the past 7 years, I’ve lived in New Orleans—specifically in what locals refer to as the “parade box” which is the area inside most of the parade routes. Living in the box means that Mardi Gras literally surrounds you. Roads are closed on all sides, and you’re trapped by crowds for the better part of three weeks. For a lot of people, this is a dream, but for others, it’s an absolute nightmare.
Surviving Mardi Gras as an introvert takes creativity and optimism, but it can be done! Dare I say that one can even THRIVE as an introvert at Mardi Gras. Here’s my Introvert’s Guide to Mardi Gras in New Orleans. Because I know I’m not the only one who needs it.
The Introvert’s Guide to Mardi Gras in New Orleans
1. Find a place to stay inside/near the parade box. (I live inside the box, but a friend’s house will work. Or local accommodations if you book far enough in advance.) I HIGHLY recommend you avoid downtown at all costs—anywhere downtown of Jackson Avenue is too far for us introverts. From your nest of safety, you can emerge for brief increments, look at the floats, smile at people, and retreat back to your snacks and blankets.
2. Find the most extroverted person alive to be your significant other. (My most-extroverted-person-alive’ s name is Michael.) When they introduce you to 40 strangers per parade, smile politely and pretend to remember all of their names. (You will not remember all of their names.)
3. Grocery shop WAY before the parades start. Streets will be closed, and you will be trapped once parades start rolling. If you prepare in advance, you can hibernate through the most crowded days.
4. Dress your dog up and take them for a walk on parade days. You can admire everyone’s costumes, and people will talk to your dog more than they talk to you. (If you can only pick one parade to go to, pick Barkus, the dog parade. This is forever and always my favorite parade of Mardi Gras. Please admire photos of our Chewie being Bayou Barbie for this year’s Barbie theme. It was the first Mardi Gras parade that Chewie and I have ever been in!)
5. Eat a whole King Cake (or several) by yourself to celebrate the season.
6. Go to parades on cold nights. There will be fewer people, and you can bundle up so that no one recognizes you. (Chewbacchus is notorious for being cold because it’s near the beginning of the carnival season. Plus, it’s a parade devoted entirely to nerds! It’s a great option for introverts. Krewe du Vieux is another good one!)
7. If you stand behind a small tree on the parade route, you’ll still be able to see the floats, but no one will easily be able to throw a pack of beads at your skull. Even better, try to procure a friend’s balcony or porch to sit on.
8. Please, PLEASE don’t go to Bourbon Street. In fact, don’t EVER go to Bourbon Street.
9. If sudden loud noises, being jostled by drunken people, and crowds too thick to walk through make your heart palpitate, then watch the parades as far Uptown as possible. Or even better, ride your bike down Tchoupitoulas when the floats are approaching the staging area for Uptown parades. You can see all the floats in peace, and the riders might even toss you something. The bands also practice in their staging area beforehand, and you can go listen. (Avoid Zulu and Rex on Mardi Gras Day.)
10. If you live in New Orleans, consider driving a tractor/pulling a float in a parade. You can be part of the fun, get paid, read a book for like 10 hours while waiting to roll, and not have anything thrown at you. (You must be able to drive stick shift, go through training, and be tall enough to reach the pedal. This is not me.)
11. Keep your Christmas tree up and decorate it for Mardi Gras. You will feel festive without having to leave your house.
12. Sneak onto a float before the Krewe arrives. (This is joke. We had permission—please don’t sneak on floats without permission!)
13. Find a few trusty friends to watch parades with and hide behind because you’re bad at catching things.
14. On Mardi Gras Day, wake up before the sunrise and go see the Northside Skull and Bone Gang. There will be a crowd, but a relatively small one, and it will be worth it. This might be the neatest Mardi Gras tradition. Then you can nap through the wildest part of the day afterward. But do NOT try to drive home before 6:00pm because you will be stuck in traffic for hours. Bring a bike.
15. Find yourself a Michael who will bring you home a Zulu coconut to cherish.
